It was never my intent to divorce. I had hoped I would never have to say “my ex-wife” in a sentence. The problem I had with the marriage was really simple. I didn’t feel important to her. It didn’t matter how bad I felt or how tired I was if she wanted to do something it was more important than my health. It didn’t matter what time I had to get up if she wanted to talk I had to talk until she was done. I could have settled for second to the kids, but I was somewhere at the bottom of the pile of things that was important to her. The things that bothered me I discussed with her many times and she would agree at times to work on things, but it always seemed to remain the same or change for a little bit and go back to the way it was. And the very next time we discussed these things yet again she didn’t seem to know what I was talking about. After not being heard and not having my feelings and health respected for a number years I became angry, irritable, and picked up cussing. At the end of the marriage I would cuss to the point a sailor would blush with shame. It wasn’t like warnings that the marriage was going to end weren’t there either. I had told her many times that if certain things didn’t stop I was leaving. It also amazes me that after fifteen years of being married to me she still doesn’t know me. I continue to surprise her. Today I am working on being a better man than when she met me. I don’t believe in divorce and in Malachi 2:16 it says God Hates divorce. In this instance I believe it was necessary and I hope God forgives me for doing what I felt was necessary. I feel bad for my children, but there is no way on God’s green earth I would take her back ever.
Now, after the divorce has happened, my ex-wife has decided she wants to be a totally different person. Nothing like the person she pretended to be when I married her. She has multiple Tattoos’ and has taken up drinking, and an alternative life style. Forgive me again, but she should know I don’t like Tattoo’s, I don’t drink, and wow is all I will say on the last one. If I had met her with all the Tattoo’s when we first met she wouldn’t have gotten a second look. I would not have dated her with tattoos. I also don’t understand why she can’t see how I might feel lied to and used. Yes, we did a lot of cool things when we were together and we should have a lot of fond memories, but since the whole relationship feels like it was a lie how can I look back on any of it with fond memories. The only fond memories I have is of the birth of my children. If I am way off base on this then please someone call me down on it.
You know I could go find another person to be with (another wife). The rumor has already started that I am gay since I don’t actively date. No offence to anyone, but I am not gay. I just don’t know if I want all the headaches that go with a relationship. There is another whole set of headaches with finding a new person. I would have to go through and remove all the pictures in my digital images that contain my ex-wife. Most people might not feel good about their spouse having pictures of the ex around. As of now life is improving and I don’t know if I want to risk messing it up again. Can I really say "Thanks for the memories"?