First, In no way is this post meant to offend anyone. I am just appalled at something that happened yesterday. I was standing in line to clock in talking with a couple of co-workers. The one was recently separated from his wife. He was talking with remorse about not having her any more. He has his kids and he talked about how the kids missed her, then in the next breath made this joke: "I need to find a friend with benefits soon. I don’t know about the whole relationship thing". The other guy said, "Let me know if she has any sisters". Maybe he was just trying to change the subject, but I just dropped out of the conversation at that point. It wasn’t funny to me.I have always wondered why women think men only want thing from them. After talking with these Neanderthal’s I understand. I have had several conversations with male friends who pretty much verify that most men only want that one thing and don’t care about anything else when it comes to women. I am going to be blunt here, if sex is the only reason to have a woman in my life then I don’t need one!
To me a good relationship should be like a partnership. Both parties working together to get things done. Both are working toward the same goals. I was watching a talk show once and the host said, "What happens when it is time to take out the trash". Exactly, there is more to life than sex, money, and things you can buy and do. It should be about love, trust and respect. Communication is a key thing. Each party should be concerned about the others mental and physical wellbeing. It shouldn’t be about one person controlling the other.
For me, I am happily single. Now, I do what ever I want whenever I want and don’t have to argue about it. My marriage was like prison. I couldn’t go out for any length of time before I would receive a phone call from my wife. I don’t think in a relationship that you need to be together 24/7. I actually think being together all the time is a bad thing. It can go to the other extreme where you are not together enough so a healthy balance is needed. Based on observation I have formed an opinion of what one or two things women want from men. Based on this opinion I will most likely be happily single the rest of my life. I think my co-worker may have made his joke to lighten the mood, but I am sure I would not have made that joke.
For me, I am happily single. Now, I do what ever I want whenever I want and don’t have to argue about it. My marriage was like prison. I couldn’t go out for any length of time before I would receive a phone call from my wife. I don’t think in a relationship that you need to be together 24/7. I actually think being together all the time is a bad thing. It can go to the other extreme where you are not together enough so a healthy balance is needed. Based on observation I have formed an opinion of what one or two things women want from men. Based on this opinion I will most likely be happily single the rest of my life. I think my co-worker may have made his joke to lighten the mood, but I am sure I would not have made that joke.
5 comments:
i dont think your co worker was really joking. people say things like they are a joke but are really not. he may had said it jokingly becouse of the old sexual harassment policy. but, trust me that wont save him from me if i felt offended. i dont know what you think women want from a man. but, what i desire is complete love in God and a complete friendship with me. i think men are not that much different then women. women let the media twist their minds into thinking men and women are different. kinda like eve with the snake (media) in the garden. i personaly think its about 65/35 on the percentage of men that just want friends with benifits. more on the 65 percent side. you however are in the minority of the 35 that want a real life with a woman.
Although I think most men think about sex a lot more than women, I think only a fool has casual sex in this day and age. For one thing it shows no self respect and no respect for anyone else. I also agree these guys were probably not joking and that is very sad. I think if you have a good relationship sex can make it better but if you're smart you'll find a person you can be happy with if you never have sex. The conversationship and spending time should be enjoyable. I know it wasn't for you in your marriage. If it's meant to be you'll find someone, otherwise just enjoy life. True happiness comes from knowing your worth when you are just you.
Ida, Thanks for the comment. I should have said "what most women want from an man...". It is also true that 65/35 split of what women want from a man. 65 percent want one or two things from a man. The other 35 percent want a real life, but they have most likely meet their fair share of jerks. There are very few good people left. From what I have heard you fall in the 35 percent. If I met the person for me today I am not sure I would know it as my mind is closed to the possibility. My life prior to my divorce was hell!
Take care,
Ritchie
P.S. I didn't take it as a joke. I was shocked based on events that led to his seperation from his wife. If you need more info email me.
Give him a little bit of a break too Ritchie. I don't think I would have liked him joking, but the poor man may just be grieving and grief is handled differently by different people. Joking and making this kind of stance may be all that is helping him hold on to his sanity.
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