Monday, February 16, 2009

Memories

Memories, we all have memories of things and events in our lives. Even though I would never have my ex-wife back I have recently tried to impress upon her the importance of spending time with our kids. The importance of building fond memories for the kids to look back on. Trace Adkins a country music singer has a single out titled "Your gonna miss this". The lyrics go something like this:

You're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' want this back
You're gonna' wish these days Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna' miss this

I for one have looked at life a lot lately. My sister wrote in her blog about spending time with us at the Galley in Decatur Indiana recently. I rarely pass up an opportunity to spend time with family. I enjoy these times and I realize some day I will wake up and things won’t be the same. For my kids I try to spend every day with them and make fond memories for them. I have fond memories from my child hood. I always loved it when mom and dad took us to the park. We would visit Foster, Sweeney, or Frankee park. I like the zoo too, but the park was the most fun. I think it was Sweeney were we had the squirrel that would come up to the car and beg for French fries. I remember how mom would always make us something simple for lunch and cook something good for dinner when dad got home. How we would gather around the TV at night to watch shows together. After I was older my dad and I would go to play basketball at the park on Saturday evening and Sunday evenings. I miss those times and wish I could have them back.


Today I spend quality time with my kids. We do things they like to do when I am with them. I have tried over the years to capture some of the things that happened with my digital camera and camcorder so that I have the memories to look at. I try to do something one-on-one with each child, as it will build that special memory that will last it a lifetime. With my son with the exception of last year, we have gone to Deshler Ohio for a railfan trip. I have loved trains ever since I was a kid and now I like them even more than ever. When we first started this trip it stared out about trains. I would do the train thing and my son would ride his three wheeler and play with toys. We might move to the Bloomdale park that was beside the tracks and he would play there. Then as he got to be older it got to be more of a father and son outing and less about trains. Just he and I spending time together. Today I doubt he will find Bloomdale very interesting. It is a small park. He will most likely be more into trains, but I could be wrong. I still think it will be about the one-on-one time with me.

As for my daughter I have opted to take her to the zoo or a park when we have our one-on-one’s. She seems to enjoy it and it is closer to home. This last summer she met up with another little girl named "Ashley" and my daughter’s name was "Ashley". The other parent’s daughter was exactly one year and one day younger than my Ashley. Needless to say my daughter had a friend at the zoo for as long as her mother would allow her to. It made for a special day for her. I am not going to post photo of the two of them I took as it was of my daughter and someone else’s child.


For me it boils down to this, what do I want to remember. How do I want my kids to remember me. They will only be young once and I only get one chance to do it right. There are no "Do-overs" in lie. As Trace Adkins says: "you’re gonna miss this, you’re gonna want this back, you’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast….."


Below is a link to the video for your listening and viewing pleasure to a video for this song.


5 comments:

Anonymous said...

your being a good father ritchie. my daughter and i have had a couple of times of fun special friends at the zoo. and as long as the other parents didnt mind i didnt eithor. sometimes talking to the other moms was pretty enjoyable too and they taught me stuff too. and i am sure i taught them some things also.

there was a song playing when i was rushing my dog to the emergancy room last year (she ate rat poison and yes, she is still alive) its a soul song and it goes love me like you'll never see me again. talk to me like you'll never see me again. i'll post the link if i find the song. i think you would enjoy hearing it too. now whenever i do hear that song i cry about a dog. even though she lived it could have went the other way. and that is what life is. make the most of the moment we are now in, becouse it could go to not having that moment or chance again.

take care my friend.

ida

Anonymous said...

I love that Trace Atkins song!.... Memories are the one thing no one can steal (accept alzheimers) and no one can take from us and no one can change. They are also the one thing we have no matter what happens. As U keep saying your ex wife. I bet even of her and with her there are a few fond memories you wouldn't trade back. They may be fleeting but they are probably there. I know even though I grew to almost hate David on so many levels there are good memories of him I wouldn't trade for the world. Life is too short to clutter the mind with bad memories... sweep them aside and fill them with good.

Anonymous said...

Don't really have any fond memories with my ex-wife or about her. Let's just say it was the worlds biggest mistake to marry her! About a month into the marriage I found out I had a rough road to hold. About two years later I was at the point of giving up. I hung in for another 13 years hoping lighting might strike and fix the situation because I don't believe in divorce. NOPE, can't say I have any fond memories to think about with her or about her. The only good that came of my marriage to her was the kids and I don't get to see them as much as I would like.

Anonymous said...

here's the link to Like you'll never see me again by alicia keys


http://www.musicloversgroup.com/alicia-keys-like-youll-never-see-me-again-video-and-lyrics/


now i have meet your ex wife a time or two when you were married. and i'll tell you she is/was a funny person and was always very nice to me. i did enjoy her company and was hoping you all would have stayed together. i firmly beleive there was no physical abuse in the marriage like i put up with my ex. so i really dont think you had all bad times in my eyes. but, i wasnt living your marriage. you were so i will just have to go by what you say but i did experiance differently her humor and kindness and i think it is probley reflected threw you alls kids weither you want to acknowlege it or not. i personally beleive that you two were/are very good people that just viewed life differently and ended up not staying together. but, since i was not living it that is just my view.

Anonymous said...

Well, There is a lot of stuff that happend I just won't go into here, but my ex was good at putting up a front. I am by no means perfect my self, but I freely admit to that. My ex could never admit to being wrong. So far, everything I have said about her to my family she has proven to be true. I believe my kids would come live with me if given the choice.